SLUG Mailing List ArchivesSLUG Mailing List ArchivesI just couldn't help myself
----- Forwarded message from Xxxxx Xxxxxxx <xxxxx.xxxxxxx@xxxxxxx> -----
Subject: Letter of Resignatin
Date: Thu, 27 Sep 2001 09:45:27 +1000
> Mr Baker
>
>
> As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very
> basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an
> intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your
> consistent and annoying harassment of myself and my co-workers during the
> commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few
> true genetic wastes of our time.
>
> Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of
> everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only
> a
> waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I
> know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to
> myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the
> concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.
>
> You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly
> simple as binary still gives you too many options.
>
> You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am
> going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will
> be just as effective as telling you what an IP is.
>
> Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.
> You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault
> in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have
> worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility,
> you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for
> your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the
> blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you
> are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.
>
> Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you
> getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my
> resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.
>
> 1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is
> illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me
> is
> "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the
> next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be
> unable
> to do it on your own.
>
> 2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system,
> and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you
> decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favourites list", which I
> conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do
> believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favourably by the
> administration.
>
> 3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of
> your mothers b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to take
> pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them
> like
> the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such
> odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been
> copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter
> of
> recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct
> your mistakes.)
>
> Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my
> desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your
> little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f***
> with your systems administrators, because they know what you do with all
> your free time.
>
> Sincerely,
> Ted Brewer
>
----- End forwarded message -----
--
Cheers,
Craige.
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